My salad dressing days

The fly that sparked a crisis of faith
September 8, 2010, 10:22 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

It didn’t last long, my youthful religious fervour.

Having begged our parents to let us attend Sunday school, my sisters and I quickly grew bored of colouring in pictures of Jesus.

My flirtation with the school Scripture Union club went the same way. Courtesy of Calliphoria Vomitoria.

“You must never kill one of God’s creatures,” said Miss P, earnestly.

“So, you shouldn’t kill animals?”

(Looking back now, it never occurred to me to ask whether she was vegetarian.)

“No, because animals are God’s creatures.”

“What about blue bottles? Is it OK to kill blue bottles? Because they’re annoying.”

“Yes, it’s OK to kill blue bottles.”

Even the daftest ten year old could rumble an inconsistency like that.

Godless for the ensuing decades, I do still take great satisfaction in a little blue bottle mass suicide event.