My salad dressing days

Welcome to Britain’s provincial pubs’ pecking order
May 19, 2010, 10:23 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

We pass the sign that says ‘No under-18s in the bar area’ and we are just about to ask the ruddy-cheeked bartender (a) what constitutes ‘the bar area’ and (b) where small children can be tethered instead when he bellows ‘No under-18s in the bar area’.

We establish the exact location of the bar area (this side of the fireplace) and the fact that small children can be either tethered approximately 75cm away from the bar area or allowed to run around like loons in the beer garden.

‘Why are children not allowed in the bar area?’ asks my son.

‘I have no idea, darling,’ I reply.

His brow furrows as he pauses for a minute.

‘Maybe it’s because kids might make some noise and the man can’t hear what people are trying to order,’ he speculates.

This seems as plausible a reason as any, so I reply: ‘You are probably right, honey.’

One graceless waiter and four rounds of oven chips with assorted protein types later and we decide to make tracks.

Before leaving, we do, however, establish that canine customers are permitted in the bar area.

How delightful.