My salad dressing days

Lance, your Tour de France record is safe
October 23, 2007, 4:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I buy a bike.

I buy what’s called a ‘hybrid’ bike because that’s what the market does best: it finds pigeonholes for the seemingly unpigeonholable. Like me. I’m dubious about whether or why I want a bike. It is thought that I will use it to join The Husband and The Children on occasional weekend outings on forest trails. But it is recognised that I am unlikely to be taking to the Black Runs* at Glentress any time soon.

Really, I tell the sales guy, I want a Pashley Princess with a wicker basket and tinkly bell, because I like the idea of the Sit Up And Beg position** and I feel sure hunching over the handlebars can’t be good for one’s innards.

However, says the sales guy, the hybrid’s handlebars can in fact be flipped up into the SUAB position. So everyone’s happy.

When we get home, I immediately pester The Husband to adjust the handlebars.

‘Why? You know you’re much more aerodynamic in the hunched over position.’

‘But I only want to cycle along the road to Waitrose.’

He obliges, tutting as he does so.

* not a hideous medieval illness but a hideous modern day idea of a fun day out

** in all likelihood something practised in S&M parlours by dominatrices or dominatrixes*** (but hey, what would I know?)

*** depending on your memory of Latin ‘O’ Grade – I’m buggered if I can remember which it is, having got it so spectacularly wrong with the plural of referendum


6 Comments so far
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the Black Runs

“not a hideous mediaeval illness…” Love it!

I would also like a sit-up and beg bike (my bike is bog-standard and in need of a service). The Gallery of Modern Art is a nice run along the Water of Leith (and the cafe is nice too!)

Comment by marshaklein

I immediately thought of the witch on “The Wizard of Oz” when she’s the lady riding her bike with the basket and the music is frantically pounding away. Remember that bike, she is in the “Sit up and Beg” position, I believe.

Do you wear a helmet when you ride? I have a bike I do not ride and I don’t want to wear a helmet. My kids ride their bikes complete with helmet and I walk along side them.

I wouldn’t want to mess up my ponytail, you know.

Comment by cardiogirl

Oh, I want a sit-up-and-beg bike!

Comment by Simple Blog Writer SBW

Hi there,

I found your blog on, congratulations on a clean,
usable and well designed site (not to mention your content, this post was my distinct favourite although “unlikely killers” tickled a funny bone too!).

I did look for an email address first prior to posting this as a comment, but couldn’t find one – so please excuse my putting this in a comment 😉

We are the largest serviced apartment company in Edinburgh
and are holding an online contest for the festive period. Basically
the contest is a scratchcard, which gives each player a chance of
free nights with us, champagne on arrival, chocolates on arrival,
spa membership etc etc. The scratchcard also has a weekly prize
which is bigger and changes from week to week.

We are looking for people to host the scratchcard on their websites,
in exchange if someone wins on your website there is a prize for you
too. The prize for hosts has just rolled over due to there not being
many people hosting the scratchcard.

If you are interested you can get the scratchcard from:

Many thanks for your time and our best festive wishes,

Andrew Burnett.

Comment by Andrew

aerodynamic be damned! it’s jolly uncomfy sitting all bent over with your arse in the air for all to leer at. suab is the way to go. (pashley is based in stratford – you should come down for a pilgrimage)

Comment by rivergirlie

very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

Comment by Idetrorce

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