My salad dressing days


In conversation with Nature
May 28, 2007, 1:52 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

[In a campsite somewhere near the Kyle of Lochalsh]

UC: Man, is this rain and wind EVER going to stop?

Nature: [laughing] Um, nope?

UC: [indignant] I swear those are 80mph gusts and not 40mph ones like it said on the BBC website!

Nature: Em Pee Aitch? I’ll give you Em Pee Aitch, sista! [whoosh] Besides, I laugh in the face of the Bee Bee See website. I snigger at the efforts of the Meteorological Office. I chortle at the ludicrous house-building methods of the three little pigs!

UC: Oh, for the love of all things holy, could you at least drop the wind? The rain, I could live with.

Nature: Never! I am Mother****er Nature. I am Almighty. Try as you might, little earthlings, to tame me, I WILL ALWAYS WIN! Suck it up!

*******

‘This is Steve Wright In The Afternoon. So! The UK weather today will be mostly fine, highs of around 16 degrees, with the odd shower.’

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8 Comments so far
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Hmm, this has to be the coldest May Bank Holiday for a long time. Will I have to get the winter coat out of mothballs?

Not looking good for our holiday in Cornwall in a couple of weeks’ time. There we were trying to be all smug and sanctimonious, reducing our carbon footprint by not flying! Oh well.

Comment by Betty

unfair!

Long weekend here as well, but its something connected to Easter/Whitsunday. I guess it grew up to be a bank holiday.

Comment by Justine

Um, how come the ‘warmest April on record’* was a sure fire indication of so-called gloabl warming but ‘the coldest May on record’* isn’t being touted as a harbinger of the next ice age?

Oh, and did you know that average, worldwide temperatures have dropped every year since 1999?

Conshpiracy? Shurely not.

* copyright every weather presenter on every channel

Comment by Metal4Life

This post is positively Wagnerian.

Your request is up on Halp! btw

Comment by GreatSheElephant

please reassure that you have returned safely and are not currently somewhere over the atlantic clinging deperately to your tent. i spent a night in a little tiny tent over the w/e and could sleep for the noisy raindrops!

Comment by rivergirlie

Ah … so you made the holidaying in the Highlands error. Everytime P and I do that, Nature beats our pasty urban arses.

Comment by Moobs

I’m frozen here, in the middle of Shepherd’s Bush, where car exhaust fumes normally keep us warm; I can’t imagine what it must be like up north – on a campsite!!!! Whose bright idea was that?

Comment by Bela

Welcome back from whatever blowy, wet corner of the globe you were. Thought you’d got lost.
And of course I’ll vote for you – haven’t a clue what it’s all about, but hey ho.

Comment by @themill




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