My salad dressing days

What I miss about remunerated employment
April 25, 2007, 2:26 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I know it’s silly but you know what? I miss brainstorming sessions. That chance at work when you could throw up any ludicrous nonsense in a bid to show your boss just how far outside of the box you could think.

‘Yah, but…what if cold fusion as a reliable form of energy became a reality? How would that impact on the way we worked? Huh? Huh?’

(I was actually at a brainstorm when this came up as an interjection. And I was not working for Shell or Powergen. Far from it.)

Anyhoo. You’re not allowed to call them brainstorming sessions these days, but I’m damned if I can remember what the new-fangled term is.

I miss wearing smart clothes. I miss wearing clothes about which I don’t have to think: ‘how will this work with a splash of congealed porridge?’.

But I don’t miss wearing tights. Oh no.

That said – despite my deep-seated revulsion for them – I did occasionally indulge in a little pop sock wearing on those trousered days. Egads.

If I returned to work now and wore a skirt, I would definitely wear stockings in the summer months. A girl needs to let the air get to her bits, y’know. So says Motherhen. Besides, it’d be fun to be labelled The Office Slut. Might even go the whole hog and wear a black bra under a white top.

I miss spending my days wondering what a ‘watercooler moment’ was, because I don’t think I ever had one. Or if I did, I was probably faking it (no doubt unconvincingly). Besides, we didn’t have a watercooler. Just tap water. Eau du robinet, if you will. Although a French waiter once laughed at me when I ordered this in a cafe and told me I should say ‘eau en carafe’. Why? ‘Parce que c’est plus belle!’. *rolls eyes*

Um, the money?


10 Comments so far
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Hmm, the last time I did any of that malarkey it was being called blue sky thinking. Although for my sins, after avoiding them for years, one of my current Third Force employers has ‘invited’ me to Thinking In Motion, which doesn’t sound like much fun, as I do like to be sedentary.

But there’s no reason to wait until you are employed before turning into the Office Slut. Do it on the internet! It’s what it was invented for. That way I don’t have to leave my desk to get my jollies. Webcams ahoy, you’ll make a fortune.

Comment by Metal4Life - Heavy Metal

Hi UC – wow, my first comment outside the purplecoo commune! Any friend of Eden’s has to be cool by me – and I am SO with you on the missing (just the odd one or two) bits of office life. It’s hard brainstorming to yourself and the dog rarely comes up with anything creative. I talk to supermarket cashiers and am considering buying my own water cooler – but would need to borrow people to hang around with me. Sad or what? Darn it, now yet another blog to read back on – my problem? Too many online friends, no offline colleagues! Jane

Comment by Exmoorjane

I think the term you are thinking of is ‘thought shower’

Comment by Ross

Ohhhh, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, isn’t it? I know people who would love to stay at home and care for their kids full-time. I thought I’d do it for six months, and by 10 weeks we had a nanny in caring for DD for 4 hours/day because I was fixing to go all Mommie Dearest on everyone. Childcare is the hardest job there is, bar none. (Okay, bomb diffuser might be harder.) And it’s lonely! But as for watercooler moments, do you ever get some version of them with other parents? I had no idea how much bonding could be done within the space of minutes until I had a child and found myself talking animatedly with other parents, like veterans of the same war.

Comment by WinterWheat

Mmm….nup. Don’t miss it at all. Ok maybe the social side of things but that’s about it. When i think about my last jobs in offices I have vivid memories of sculling Emergency Essence and lying on the carpet trying to control my breathing while the head writer was called urgently to explain our script to the hellish execiutive producers. The pay was great but nothing made up for the other shit…

Comment by Ova Girl

(p.s. re: your comment on my blog–hope you didn’t think I was attacking you! You said something that got me all excited and I went into “let’s bat this idea around like seals” mode. I dig you and your perspective on stuff and want you to keep comin’ back.) 🙂

Comment by WinterWheat

I worked freelance in France for five years and hated it: the isolation – everything. Then I worked in a London office and loved it, most of the time. But then my job didn’t involve boring meetings. I liked the money too. I’ve now worked freelance here for 20 years and I hated it until the advent of the Internet: being on a message board and exchanging pleasantries there satisfies my need for light-hearted contact.

I’ve never asked for eau du robinet in a French café, mostly because I don’t drink tap water. It’s not that it’s plus beau; it’s that is sounds moins vulgaire to a French ear.

Comment by Bela

Erratum: delete ‘is’ and replace with ‘it’ in ‘that is sounds’. LOL!

Comment by Bela

i confidently predict that if you wore stockings under your sharp little office skirt, you’d have more watercooler moments than you could shake a stick at. you’re probably safe with the popsox, though

Comment by rivergirlie

‘thought shower’ LOL (repressed lol cos its kinda late)

Comment by Justine

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