My salad dressing days


Confessional
January 20, 2007, 11:29 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I thought it was something everyone did.

I thought it was normal. Acceptable. Run of the proverbial mill.

I can’t remember how it came out, but it was my mother who rumbled me.

People, I hold my hands up: I am a sheet slut.

We, Mr Chick and I, we’ve always wanted our nearest and dearest to feel that they can drop by any time to be welcomed with a hot meal, some mindless banter, a bed for the night.

Sometimes our new guests turned up just as the last ones were leaving.

Maybe the first time, I was out of fabric conditioner or such like. I forget.

But I had good reason. Good reason not to change the sheets.

Granted, I might turn the duvet over and possibly change the pillowcases. Oh, and brush off the pubic hairs. I always did that!

But the way I justified it to myself (I know, I know) was: well, M knows H. And M only stayed the one night. And he’s a sleepwalking insomniac!

Oh, and if it was family family, well then, no question! Sometimes I would even tell them: oh, hope you don’t mind, but E slept in that bed last week. Only for a few hours, mind, as she came in late from a work night out.

But it appears this practice is somewhat sniffed at. Frowned upon. Thought unseemly. And so my washing machine chugs itself towards an early death, the planet suffers and we all go to hell in a laundry basket.

Can that be right?

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6 Comments so far
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That’s probably only normal in hotels and motels.

Comment by Violet

Alas, your mother is right: you are a sheet slut.

Best advice I heard about the topic was to put clean sheets, pillow cases etc in a nicely folded pile on top of the made (and previously slept-in) bed. When showing guests to their room, airily announce “Oh, E “(it helps if E is known as a paragon of hygiene) “slept there for a few hours last week etc. Do please change the sheets if you’d rather.” and exit. It is a rare guest who can be arsed. Your mother will though, but there.

Comment by Anonymous

As someone who has no spare bed, I dream of having problems like this. No, really, I do. I’d love to have people staying but unfortunately, living at the back of beyond, no-one seems to want to visit. Maybe they don’t like my sheet policy ?

Comment by Ponytail

Ugh! LOL!

I don’t have that problem (and I’m very glad I don’t): my room is 13′ 3″ by 11′ 2″ so no space for anyone else. I’ve never enjoyed having people to stay over: I’ve mostly worked from home and guests need to be entertained.

Comment by Bela

Anon – that is an excellent solution to what is, as UC points out, a bit of a problem…

(If I have guests staying in my flatemates’ rooms I sometimes end up washing the sheets twice)

Comment by Spinsterella

My name is Lesley and I am a sheet slut.

Comment by Lesley




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