My salad dressing days

Channelling my inner Nigella (it ain’t workin’)
December 12, 2006, 9:52 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I am in the midst of a Mad Baking Frenzy right now.

Yesterday morning it was Christmas biscuits (see above).

Yesterday evening it was Dutch Apple Cake (recipe from this blogger).

And this afternoon it was No Bake Banana Cheesecake (technically not ‘baking’ then).

Did you see how dismally my Adventures In Food Colouring went? Snot green, when what I was aiming for was forest green and tomato red, when what I was aiming for was holly berry.

And Nigella has, like, 300 cookie cutters and I have but a dozen.


But I like to think I can suck my fingers erotically* and flick my hair** back over my cashmere twinset*** just like The Real Thing (although where The Real Thing ends and Ronni Ancona begins, I no longer know).

* not since Mr Chick pinned me down and applied No Nail Bite
** not since I had my locks hacked
*** not since never, seeing as how I don’t own one

P.S. Did you notice how my mixed race Christmas biscuit man has been socially exluded by the two major ethnic groups on the cooling rack? Yep, it’s a cruel cruel world out there.


14 Comments so far
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You make me laff.

Comment by Martha

Same thing. I can no longer tell the difference between Tony Blair and Rory Bremner (even though everything he’s done in the past two years has sucked). That’s Bremner. Blair has sucked for far longer.


Comment by Anonymous

Your idea of a mini-blogmeet in the new year sounds good. I don’t think I know of any other Edinburgh-based bloggers, but Heather (Dazed and Confuzzled) is in Glasgow and may be up for a meet.

Comment by Marsha Klein

But your alligator is superb…

Comment by Violet

Best Mate’s been on something of a baking frenzy here, too. Homemade mince pies, and boozy apple crumble complete with gin soaked raspberries. Yum. And hic. Must be something to do with the time of year.

Have to say, your green biscuits are a better green colour than what I assume is a crocodile of Nigella’s, which frankly looks like mushy pea.

Comment by Hannah

psst, violet, I think the alligator is Nigellas…

Comment by Loganoc

Blimey, is the use of vegetable colouring a side effect of the Fanny Cradock revival?

There must be something hormonal being added to the water supply at this time of year (well, more so than normal).

I actually thought about baking my own mince pies for at least a couple of minutes. Then sense prevailed.

Comment by Betty

I shouldn’t worry about the cashmere twinset…think of the way it sheds. You wouldn’t want the chicklets choking on goat hair!

Comment by mig bardsley

OK – here’s the thing. Dutch apple cake looks good, but how do you “brush the batter with the butter”? And, while on the subject of cooks, I really do find Nigella intensely irritating. Went right off her when she took up with Saatchi practically before poor old John Diamond had popped his clogs. Want to slap her.

Comment by anonnymouse

I think your biscuits look delightful, especially that biracial fellow. Am not a biscuit expert at all but it seems to me if in doubt re the icing shade you could perhaps distract the eye by further adorning the biscuit in other decorative doodads. You know, like the way some folk scatter icing sugar over everything. Perhaps you cold whip up a batch of white icing and twizzle that over them. Or alternatively just eat them because frankly making your own biscuits is pretty damn impressive.

Comment by Ova Girl

But do you have an arse the size of a small country?

Comment by realdoc

hmmm, realdoc, depends what you mean by “small”

if we’re talking about andorra, for instance, then perhaps

*not prepared to post a photo though*

Comment by Urban Chick

Does one call you Urban Chic which seems very formal or UC which seems a tad casual, having not been introduced?

Love the bickies, I bet Nigella’s were a bit hit and miss to start.
Let’s face it anyone who can get up with a hangover and make a bean and chorizo soup for breakfast either didn’t have a hangover or had a bucket hidden away from the camera *evil grin*

Lea the FoodiePhile

Marsha you do know other Edinbum bloggers …Moi!

Comment by Lea Harris

I’ve just had a good laugh at the poor mixed-race-biscuit man’s plight. It’s hard out here for a biccie.

Mmmmmmm. Biscuits. Damn. It’s midnight, I can’t be thinking about food. I’ve already eaten banana bread and two slices of apple pie today. And five Weetabix. I think I may have a problem.

Comment by Marmite Breath

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