My salad dressing days

Straight hair is the new safe sex
September 14, 2006, 7:42 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

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Back in my day, the toilets in student buildings had condom machines.

Maybe some overpriced sanitary wear.

But always three-packs of novelty condoms.

And now? Not a flavoured Durex in sight.


Well, it seems that frizzy hair is the new social disease.

The good people at Beautiful Vending tell us more:

“We all know how frustrating the British weather can be, the rain, wind and even the heat can cause perfectly styled hair to ‘frizz’ and ruin the best night or day out. The saviour of bad hair days has arrived, the Straight Up machine is now available in clubs, bars and gyms, so for those occasions when sleek and sexy turns to shock and horror, we have the solution.”

Heavens alive.

So now, £1 buys you 90 seconds (yep, just 90 seconds, gals – get busy with those tongs!) of hair straightening fun.

Compared with a three-pack of strawberry-flavoured condoms, which buys you…well, y’know

I know which one I would choose*.

But my favourite testimontial came from Steve McColm, Business Development Manager at Luminar Leisure:

“The Straight Up machines have brought increased value to our female customer’s** ‘going out’ experience and the guys aren’t complaining either.”


* Motherhen/Ol’ Rooster: the hair tongs, obviously
** sic: yes, just the one customer, it seems


13 Comments so far
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I’m probably not a real woman, as I don’t possess straightening irons. My hair is flat enough already – my eternal quest is trying to make my hair have some semblance of volume!

Comment by Anxious

A thought: drunkety-drunk gals and straightening irons. Anyone else see where I’m going with this…?

(Ps: UC – they’re everywhere in Edinburgh now… I’ve definitely seen them in Opal and Assembly in the last couple of weeks. It’s a rapidly spreading craze…)

Comment by Hannah

I’m with Anxious!

And wth, who would pay to dry their hair in dunnies? Isn’t that what the hand hot air blower thingy is for? And it’s free!

Comment by SBB

I have big curly hair and have straightened it from time to time, though I don’t own an iron. I have to say with my vast frizzy experience, a little frizz never ruined a night for me. Drunkenly trying to use a hot iron near my eyes, ears and lips could definitely though. It’s just a good thing Canada hasn’t caught onto this one yet.

Comment by cinnamon gurl

hee hee… thinking about drunken encounters with bathroom vending machines reminded me of the time I discovered a vending machine selling a “genuine pecker stretcher.” I couldn’t resist and paid my dollar to get a tiny box. Inside it was a folded miniature stretcher (like in ambulances) made of paper for tiny woodpeckers.

Comment by cinnamon gurl

Who would want to style their hair with something that has touched strangers’ hair?

Comment by Jenny G

Guy: You know, that chick would be bangin’ hot if she did something about that frizzy hair.


Comment by LoRi~fLoWer

I think straight hair is boring. When I said so on my blog I had to start moderating comments. LOL! Some very strange people turned up.

In my day there were no vending machines at all in the toilets. I’m that old.

Comment by Bela

How soon do you reckon it will be until some yob uses them as a weapon and brands some poor person’s face? And secondly: are we really that vain?! I am in shock about this! For me this is proof that we are a complete and utterly looks-driven society more than ever.

Comment by Sarah Louise Parry

gosh UC. That is just wierd. I’m sure a clever girl could find a way to combat HIV and unwanted pregnancy with a set of hot tongs but its always a bit tricky to lure the fella into the washroom. condoms are so much more practical!

Comment by Kyahgirl

Kyahgirl – if a girl applied the hot tongs the same way she’d apply a condom, I’m pretty sure there would be less risk of getting pregnant or HIV’d, than using a condom.

But yes, luring the guy into the washroom might be tricky…

Comment by SBB

Oh. My. God.

I am utterly baffled by this hair-straightening obsession.

Comment by Spinsterella

Goes to show women will fall for just about anything, doncha think?

Hands up who’s still drinking yoghurt for that bloated feeling?

Comment by Peter

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