My salad dressing days

August 14, 2006, 12:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

[In which Motherhen and I fancy ourselves to be a couple of evolutionary biologists.]

Me: You know, it’s weird. The chicklets are strangely drawn to tall men.

Motherhen: As is your Blonde Niece. Funny, isn’t it?

Me: And it’s men with whom they have minimal contact (namely J and M), but as soon as they appear on the scene, they’re all: I want to see J! I want to play with M!

Motherhen: ‘Tis indeed curious…

Me: But, you know what? I have a theory about it. I reckon it’s an evolutionary construct!

Motherhen: Eh?

Me: I think they are drawn to tall men, because back in our hunter gatherer days, tall men were at an advantage because they could see across the savannah and could alert their families to the imminent arrival of a cheetah or wotnot thereby saving them from an untimely death. Yes?

Motherhen: Mmmmm…but then, to be fair, short men could have alerted them to a deadly scorpion, so why aren’t they drawn to short men?

Me: Fair point.


[Youngest sister Suburban Bantam and I discuss our future attendance at a Belle and Sebastian concert.]

Me: I am a total B&S concert virgin – are they one of those bands whose whimsical ballads will inspire the waving of cigarette lighters?

SB: Not quite cigarette lighters…

Me: So will the audience be standing up and bopping around?

SB: Um, no bopping around – maybe some gentle swaying, though.

Me: Oh good. Gentle swaying sounds fun. What should I wear? A cropped cardigan perhaps?

SB: Yes, maybe a cropped cardigan…

**UC squeals in delight**

SB: And maybe a beret…

Me: Oh. I don’t have a beret.

SB: Generally think: second hand and/or the vintage clothes look. Hey! You know what would be sooooo funny? We could all buy some groovy get-up from Oxfam and dress up in that for the night!

Me: Ooh, yes! That would be sooooo funny!

SB: [after a brief pause] Although, given that everyone will look like that, no-one else is going to bat an eyelid or find it vaguely funny.

Me: Oh yeah.

SB: Yeah, so maybe not then.

Me: Yeah.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Your whole family is just quite funny.

Comment by Beth (formerly Whinger)

I can confirm that the preferred mode of movement at the B&S gig is indeed the gentle sway. Preferably coupled with “I’m painfully shy, really” body language.

They’re surprisingly good live, though. Don’t let the berets put you off.

Best B&S ever: at Somerset House a couple of summers ago. The acoustics made the trumpet in “I Fought In a War” sound a-ma-zing.

Comment by Pashmina

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