My salad dressing days

It’s all very The Good Life
June 27, 2006, 9:05 pm
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Yes, the inevitable has happened. We’ve quit the big city (for a smaller, but equally culturally well-endowed one – in another country) amidst all the usual mutterings of ‘appalling pollution levels, bad schools, water shortages, expensive haircuts’. C’mon: you’ve seen people like us on Relocation Relocation Relocation Relocation Relocation (Revisited).

Phil nods sympathetically, whilst clenching his fists to show off his pectoral muscles, and Kirstie puckers her lips knowingly as the cameraman flashes the viewers a shot of her blood red Jimmy Choos.

There is a some footage of Mr Chick and I dashing around central London like mad things, over which Kirstie sets out our plight and then some more footage of us gambolling down a leafy Edinburgh street, chicklets in tow, as Phil whispers conspiratorially to the camera how he’s found ‘just the place for these stressed-out Londoners’.

Cut to us being interviewed sitting in Jenners tearoom, as the winter sun glints off Kirstie raven locks. We say we’d like to be ‘inleafysuburbiabutclosetosomeamenities’ and ‘inthecatchmentareaforagoodstateprimary’ with ‘morespaceabiggardenaswewantogrowourownvegetables’ .

Phil and Kirstie nod and starting tapping numbers into their Nokia PDAs.

[Meantimes, the viewers roll their eyes and say ‘yeah, yeah – same ole, same ole…when’s Wife Swap on?’]

So, yes. Truth be known, we’ve come over a bit Tom and Barbara this past fortnight. Slipping into the stereotype of recently-emigrated-Londoner proved just too irresistible.

If we’re not lopping rhubarb, stewing it and making homemade tarts, we’re transplanting our seedlings (courgette, tomato, squash, cucumber, rocket, coriander) or line-drying our washing.

Dashed smug and irritating, that’s what we are.

(Home-grown Romaine lettuce anyone?)


9 Comments so far
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So you won’t be living near the Inch then?

Comment by Jane

Partner and I were discussing how we wish to take our next vacation to Scotland.

Apparently we stalk you from afar.

Lock up the chicklets, please.

I have SUCH a crush on Phil.

Comment by whinger

jane: um, the inch…um (googles) – actually, i fancy we are living very close to where you went to school, if my memory serves me right anyway…

whinger: ooh yesssssss! come to visit us in scotland! YES!! but please: phil? noooooooooo – the man is super-vain…the luscious kirstie and her fabulous shoes beats him hands down

Comment by Urban Chick

Oh Kirstie’s fun as well, but I love Phil’s satisfying smugness.

Comment by Whinger

Hi sweet pea! Glad you’re back. I missed your return.

You sound so settled and content! Yay.

Now I have four compelling reasons to drag the family to Scotland.


Comment by Kyahgirl

At last! Someone else who appreciates the god that is Phil.

I fancy he actually looks directly at me from the TV..Is that possible??

Comment by Pursuing Perfection

Smashing! Next up – the baking of scones?

I hope you’re wearing a little june cleaver housedress dress and stylish bandana as well because that would just complete tht perfect little picture of the urban chick.

Comment by SBB

Ah, this city is just brilliant *knowing smug smile*. AND property prices are set to rise 50% in the next 5 or 10 years. Whereabouts in the city are you?

Comment by Hannah

Rhubarb? Hah! Funny tasting celery with ideas above its station. Anything which can be poisonous if not prepared properly is giving you a clue that it’s not edible!

(Except fugu. Which I like, and is therefore exempt.)

We ate our own potatoes and strawberries last week.

Oh God; getting competitive about vegetables. I’m ready for the Home.

Comment by Stef the engineer

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