My salad dressing days


Diary of a Dull Teenager
November 8, 2005, 1:30 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

There seems to be something of a trend for publishing the diaries of elderly relations on blogs right now.

Never one to miss the opportunity for a casual leap onto the back of a bandwagon, I thought I would cash in on the act and publish some excerpts from the diary of a very close relation (*coughs pointedly*).

To begin at the beginning…

Wednesday 1 January 1986

Dear Diary,
We went to bed at around 1am in the morning. I wasn’t feeling at all well. I was sick* (I’m not sure when though). I got up at around midday. Mum and Dad came to Gran’s soon after. We had some sandwiches and some tea then we set off to pick up C (E’s friend). In the afternoon we watched ‘The Happiest Days of our Lives’. It was really good. We just lazed around until teatime. After which we watched another film ‘The Clash of the Titans’. I’d seen it before. It’s about this guy called Perseus (I think you spell it like that!). Anyway, everyone seems to be against him (how thick!). Then I bathed E and C. I blow dried C’s hair. (She looked like Claudia from ‘Dynasty’!). Goodnight! xxx

* it is absolutely not possible that this individual (let’s call her Ursula) was hungover – much more likely she had over-indulged in the New Year’s Eve party sausage rolls

P.S. In searching for an image to accompany this post, I discovered this. Are we to believe that the first Bridget Jones film was named ‘Chocolate for breakfast’ in Germany? How fabulous!

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8 Comments so far
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The Japanese title traslated back as “Overweight Yearbook”

Comment by Jack

I’d love to read the rest of ‘Ursula’s’ diary. I’m sure its riveting 🙂

I recently received some letters I had written to my parents when I was a teenager. I was just writhing with embarrassment when I read them. What an ass I was!

Comment by Kyahgirl

I love it! How fascinating. When I was mad at my parents, I used to leave notes on their pillows, along the lines of “You are the worst parents in the world. I am never speaking to you again.” Good lord, was I a brat.

Comment by Meegan

I like the japanese translation! When I read the first Jones book, i though, “Oh poor Bridge, she’s overweight.” Then I converted the pounds to kilos and worked out she was lighter than I am! Oh no!

It was Paa Raanden in norwegian (pretty close to Edge Of Reason)

Comment by Justine

LOL at meegan! wow – my parents had it E-A-S-Y!

Comment by Urban Chick

This post ties in nicely with my recent comments about false memories. As an insurance against falsies, the diary is the way to go. Written closer to the time of the events it will provide a sound base for the autobiography. Then all you have to do is ‘tart it up’ a bit to engage the readers.

I loved the comment about the sausage-rolls. At a wedding, a cousin of mine crashed into a table full of drinks. This came after the vomit spraying incident. His reaction the next day? If you’re going to drink a whole bottle of Vodka, never mix it with sausage rolls – those damn pastries are lethal! Then there’s the classic, “I was okay until I had the 13th pint, it must have been a bad one!”

I’m afraid that’s it for now. I’ve drunk far too much coffee this morning. I’m off to point Perseus at the Porcelain!

Comment by Swifty

hang on…wasn’t it me who had the false memories on your blog?

or am i having yet another false memory attack?!

off back to yours to check…

Comment by Urban Chick

I broached the subject of ‘false memories’ in the email reply I sent to you, but I had to pick out the anti-spam device in your address. I guess you never received it. Anyway, if you read my post carefully, you’ll see, in the introduction, I have misgivings about the accuracy of memories.

Be honest, you skim don’t you?

Comment by Swifty




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