My salad dressing days


Mr Chick’s latest harebrained idea
November 4, 2005, 1:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Mr Chick has become positively obsessed with eliminating all means of exposure to dust mites in our humble abode.

Bedding has been replaced, soft furnishings vacuumed to within an inch of their lives, (beautiful cherry red) leather sofa and armchair ordered, new hoover purchased.

But now, he wants us to start wearing Nasal Air Guards. Yes, he’s in danger of becoming one of those people who orders things from the weird catalogues that fall out of the Sunday papers.

So we tried them out last night. The sample packs, which retail at a bargain £1.95, each contained nasal air guards in all four sizes (Small Short, Small, Medium and Large).

Insertion was quick and easy, but as soon as we exhaled, they shot out and divebombed onto the floor. This, it struck us, was something of a design fault.

Anyway, we weren’t too disheartened, particularly as we learnt from the enclosed leaflet that taking drugs can prevent allergies. How marvellous! Now that’s something the anti-drug lobby never tell you about.

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7 Comments so far
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There is a cheaper way, put a small smear of vaseline just inside you nostrils, traps all sorts of dust and stuff. Used to use this trick whe I worked in shipyards.

Also works to ease hayfever in the summer…It really does.

Comment by Aginoth

good lord!

you heard it here first, folks…

*rustles in handbag for pot of petroleum jelly*

Comment by Urban Chick

I should probably read your archive for an answer to this but instead I shall merely ask:
Why?

Comment by GreatSheElephant

There is a far simpler solution. Simple keep your mouth firmly closed, and plug up your nostrils with cotton wool, thus no allergens can enter your lungs.

WARNING: Not breathing may lead to dizziness, blackouts, and in extreme cases, death.

Comment by Anonymous

gosh, thanks, anonymous

i’ll keep that in mind just in vase the vaseline trick fails to work

wisdom like this really ought to be dispensed to a much wider audience than my three regular readers so might i suggest that both you and aginoth send off your fine suggestions to ‘bella’?

Comment by Urban Chick

I shall put Mr Chick in contact with a date of mine, who firmly believed that he was able to genetically modify cats so that they’d be hypoallergic, thereby allowing people with allergies to own cats… Ahem.

Comment by Hannah

Well, you’ve got yourself FOUR regular readers now … i still can’t believe Alan turned you down, that … *shall not resort to name-calling here*

Better than Bridget Jones!

http://bunnywunny.blogspot.com

(another audacious chick)

Comment by Aurora




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