My salad dressing days

Lest you should doubt my qualifications
November 1, 2005, 1:51 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Let me assure you that, should you inadvertently drop a brick into a heated indoor swimming pool*, I am your woman. I will happily retrieve said brick on your behalf, although you will have to provide me with a pair of brushed cotton pyjamas. No pyjamas = No can save your brick. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is.

* Believe me when I say that it happens all the time. A Scottish diver’s work is never done…


9 Comments so far
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While I don’t have any patches, I was a lifeguard so I too can go and retrieve a brick from said pool. I think I may need to steal your idea of requesting nice cotton pjs in exchange for the brick :-).

Comment by Esther

This may be a reference to having to remove said PJs and form a float from them, which I vaguely remember doing before going on to launch a brave brick rescue. I didn’t get cloth badges – little metal things they were. And no reference to Scotland or things Scottish (Bolton not being a part of Scotland, this was not a huge surprise.)
I also remember having to pretend to give mouth-to-mouth on a volunteer; the brick had to fend for itself.

Comment by Stef the engineer

my sister took a floor-length nylon nightie in lieu of jarmies and nearly drowned trying to get the damn thing off.

laugh? i nearly helped her.

Comment by surly girl

I suppose I’ll have to pay your air fare to Canada in addition to the pjs? I’m forever dropping bricks in the pool. Damned clumsy I am.


Comment by Kyahgirl

I’ve never admitted this before, but I cheated to get my 1 Width certificate (and obligatory cloth badge). I put my foot on the floor about two thirds across, but nobody noticed so I got away with it.

I’ve lived with the guilt ever since…

Comment by Kellycat

Like an idiot I sewed my patches on my trunks. So they are all faded now. I had to retreve the brick in my rugby kit for some reason.

Comment by Jack

i could do you a nice pair of flannettes if that helps.

Comment by spindleshanks

So, it’s a tradition to drop bricks in Scottish pools? This is mighty intriguing.

Comment by actonbell

Wow, look at that one on the left. Did you really have to lose an eye to get that swimming patch? Swimming in Scotland seems brutal.

I never made in swimming lessons to make it to lifeguard status. I hated diving. HATED. So I quit, figuring a dog paddle, though inelegant, does in fact get me across a heated pool just fine, and if I do want to look less unsightly I shall just sidestroke my way slowly through the water.

Comment by katiedid

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