My salad dressing days

There were two in the bed
July 11, 2005, 11:31 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

We’ve been playing Musical Beds a lot lately. Sometimes, partway through the night, either Mr Chick or I disappears off to the spare room clutching wax earplugs and the remaining partner may or may not substitute the missing spouse for a chicklet*. It’s not an arrangement that usually works well but sometimes needs must.

And so it was that I found myself with Chicklet #1 the other night. She had woken, crying, probably owing to her being unwell. Having by now missed the Medised Moment**, and in order to avoid any further non-sleeping by other members of the household, she took Mr Chick’s place in bed with me.

An hour into our co-sleeping arrangement and I was concluding that sleeping with a chicklet is like sleeping with your drunk university roommate.

The novelty of sleeping with me was clearly too much and she became completely hyperactive (either that or Mr Chick had slipped her a Pro Plus shortly before sloping off to the spare room).

I encouraged her to lie down and initially she complied. It was a nice moment (all three seconds of it), as mother and daughter lay face-to-face on the pillow. I closed my eyes in the hope that this would emit the Time To Sleep signal, but no. Suddenly her mouth was next to my ear and she was yelling ‘hiiiiiiiiyaaaaaa!’, a few times, just in case I was actually asleep and hadn’t heard.

Sitting up now and gazing round the semi-darkened room, she suddenly began flinging herself to the four corners of our queen-sized bed and laughing as her face ended up in big lumps of duvet.

Then it was the turn of the favourite toy (FT) to be hurled off the side of the bed, followed by a scrambling to peer over the edge and the by now well-perfected exagerrated cry (as taught and encouraged by grandparently types) of ‘uuuuuuuuuh – ohhhhhhhhhh!’. I retrieved FT, FT was cuddled in a comic fashion for a nanosecond and then flung onto the floor again [return to start of paragraph]. This, apparently, was quite hilarious.

Suddenly, we seemed to have reached a plateau of calm. She voluntarily laid her head on the pillow and stayed put for a good minute or so. My aching body sunk longingly into the squishy matress. But then she spotted the torch on the bedside table. (Damn.) Her eyes popped with excitement as she grabbed it and began waving it around so that the beam shot all over the bedroom ceiling. ‘Eeeeeeeeeeeee!’. More hysterical laughter.

At this point, Chicklet #2 started groaning and then whining and then all out crying. And then Mr Chick appeared at the bedroom door.

The end result: Mr Chick slept on the living room sofa with Chicklet #1 (after watching the sunrise and sitting through an entire ‘Pingu’ DVD twice over) and I hunkered down for the night in my own bed…with Chicklet #2.

Press rewind and play…

* chicklets are the human beings formerly known as tiddlers (think Prince)

** the time frame within which you can reasonably dose your child up with an over-the-counter painkiller-cum-sedative – too early in the night and they will wake at 2am in a vile mood, too late and you will be poking and prodding them into being at 11am


8 Comments so far
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If you’ve a suitable cupboard, have you thought about putting them in there bound and gagged? Only for the duration of the night. It would be cruel to leave them any longer 🙂

Comment by Swifty

Great story! You had me laughing out loud. My cousin and his wife go through the same thing on a regular basis, with the switching of beds at all hours of the night. For a second I was worried that you were allowing your children to play with fire, but then I remembered that “torch” means flashlight on your side of the pond! 🙂 Anyway, thanks for the laughs. I’m sure your kids are adorable (probably more so when it’s not the middle of the night, though), and I love that they are chicklets! You’ve got such a great writing style!

Comment by Meegan

Oh my goodness! Been there, done that!

I say give the chicklets to the grandparents for a few hours and take a nap!

Comment by GodlessMom

Yeesh. You are clearly a better human being than I. Noone, but noone, separates me from my sleep. It’s a crime punishable by… actually, it’s never yet happened, so I’ve not had to think up anything suitably nasty…

You have my full admiration!

Comment by Hannah

What a great mommy you are!

How I miss those days. And Astro is too large to sleep in the bed. Also, now that he is old, he cannot climb!

Comment by BarbaraFromCalifornia

Wait til they get old enough to kick you in their sleep. That’s soooooo fun, too.

Comment by katiedid

this sounds truly awful. so now do you have that I’m So Tired hangover? xoxoxo

Comment by mireille

You poor thing, you have my total sympathy. You could try rocking the chicklets to sleep, just don’t use too big of a rock. hehehe

These days are beginning for me as well. Doodlebug was very tired and cranky due to teething problems and fell asleep in my bed. I didn’t want to move her for fear of waking her. I should have moved her, as there is no sleeping with a squirmy 6 month old.

Comment by KGrams

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