My salad dressing days

Column in The Guardian continues to elude me…
May 26, 2005, 7:44 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Am I going wrong somewhere?

Dear Mr Rusbridger

I wondered if you might consider carrying my blog as a weekly column in G2. I couldn’t help noticing that David Aaronovitch has recently given up his column, so I’m guessing you have an opening right now…

Blogs are very ‘now’ and Guardianistas being double-espresso-drinking, jazz-listening hipster types want to feel that they are where it is and all that.

I know you have a couple of folk who write soi-disant ‘blogs’ about their Guardian-sponsored travels around the world, but, come on, those aren’t REAL blogs, are they?

Anyway, a bit more about MY blog. A friend said to say that it is a ‘mishmash of humorous musings on the modern world’ (and certainly, my Dad says my posts often cause him to titter quietly of an afternoon stuck in a dreary office). Oh, and some people who I could not possibly know have posted comments on my blog. So it’s only a matter of time before Google Adserve really starts generating a serious income for me.

I’ve been ‘blogging’ since December last year: that’s six whole months! (Well, minus four months when I was visiting my Guru in India.) I hope that gives you a sense of my commitment and ability to deliver regular copy.

Well, I hope to hear from you soon. Will you be at Hay this year? Hope to see you there. (New-fangled blogger I may be, but I still dig all the old style literary stuff too. Does that sound to you like a potential USP?).

Love, UC

P.S. Can I call you Alan?


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Dear UC,
Thank you for your interest in our features. Unfortunately, we will be unable to offer you a column at this time. Whilst our readership would no doubt appreciate macrame pot-holder tips and other such delights, we were unable to ignore the subliminal “buy new shoes” message that pervades your so-called blog. We at the guardian feel that it is exactly this kind of foot-based consumerism that is responsible for todays “yob culture”. There are plenty of other ways to attain your worthy mission of boosting the economy. For example, instead of buying another pair of, admittedly attractive, “kitten-heels” (do you know how many baby cats are killed every year to produce just one pair of these shoes?), why not invest in some practical sandals, hand-crafted in the UK by unemployed ex-huntsmen, constructed from a unique blend of colleen mcglaughlins hairbrush hair and what is called in the industry “yob-gob”? (see p. 23 fashion supplement).
I would however appreciate the contact details of “chick chick chick chick chicken” or “suburban bantam”, if you could pass them on.

Mr Rusbridger

Comment by Alan Rusbridger

Well, I have no doubts at all that the New Media sections readership would benefit hugely from a strong pro-consumer/kitten heel wearer’s outlook on the world, and of course the shoe-based economy and it’s effects on new media in general.

Though in order to get kitten heels to fit into new media contextually, you would have to write many, many posts on them in your blog. Blogs ARE new media in a way aren’t they¿? :S

There are probably countless websites devoted to them already, but it’d probably be safer not to venture those routes!

Comment by flakester

thanks for the vote of confidence, Alan, but unfortunately, I’m far too busy watching celebrity love island. Will Lee and Jayne get together? Its just too exciting…

Comment by chick chick chick chick chicken

thanks for the (much belated) response, alan

for an editor of a quality soon-to-turn-tabloid broadsheet, you are mightily well informed about youth culture…well done you!


Comment by Urban Chick

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