My salad dressing days

“Ashley Wilkes likes to see a girl with a healthy appetite!”. Well, that’s excuse enough for me. It IS Christmas forgodssake.

Nonetheless, a new handbag never fails to lift the spirits…

Me, I know nothing about cricket. But I can’t help noticing that if you say ‘Marcus Trescothick’ several times in a row, you get a build-up of saliva in the front of your mouth. Give it a go. Worst case scenario: you need to swallow back some spittle afterwards. But take it from me – it’s kinda fun.

Where is the fun in dieting in the run up to your big day just so you can get into a dress ten sizes smaller than your usual size? It’s too too dull (not to mention miserable for you). When I went to get fitted for my dress (some eons ago), I realised that I was somewhere between two sizes (yeh, like I’m gonna tell you which ones!) so I decided I should just go for the bigger size and eat more chocolate. And you know what? It worked a treat. Flesh filled fabric without any unsightly gaping bits (fabric not flesh). So go on, surprise everyone, tell your friends ‘more pudding for me please – I’M getting married!’ and go have another Mars Bar (or seven).

Optical illusion this ain’t. Yep, that’s right. There really is a branch of Pizza Hut within spitting distance of The Sphinx. (But it’s not nearly as good as the KFC which operates out of the Great Pyramid – what an atmosphere!!)

Are these blue velour party shoes not TO DIE FOR?? Spotted first on the feet of my mother’s friend, I zipped straight to Schuh many Christmases ago to secure myself a pair for a cool £25. In them I have attended an exclusive engagement party in Chelsea, rocked my socks (OK, pop socks) off at a Millennium party and danced oftentimes in my kitchen when no-one was in. But, most regrettably, one of the elastic laces went PING not so very long ago and so these pieces of high art have been sitting in my wardrobe for months. Still, I am sharing them WITH YOU, so are we not all benefitting from their beauty??

I long for a pea green handbag
With buckles and clips galore
I long for a pea green handbag
I know I’m becoming a bore

I long for a pea green handbag
On ebay I’m flogging my kids
I long for a pea green handbag
If only I’d get some more bids

I long for a pea green handbag
My life would then be complete
I long for a pea green handbag
Oh, and pea green shoes for my feet

to find yourself dancing to Ultimate Kylie of a late afternoon whilst your children look on in bemused bewilderment??

More soon, chickadees…